Secret Cancer

So my husband is back in the hospital. He is having trouble with the ascites. The fluid makes it harder for him to breathe and catch his breath. They started draining him over night but he still is having difficulty breathing. They say that he has the RSVirus.

We planned to spend Christmas with his family but they are all sick. I cannot stop thinking that this might be his last Christmas and we cannot even celebrate it. The kids are extremely disappointed.

We usually go to the US for Christmas but somehow I knew that this Christmas was going to be different. We planned to be here this year, so my husband can celebrate Christmas with his family. Now everything sucks. I’m trying to be positive for everyone. Saying “Christmas is not just a date on the calendar. We can celebrate it in a few days”. But in reality, I am holding on by a thread.

All I can think about is how to fix this but I cannot. Sometimes you just have to except the bad things in life and try to make the best out of it. My friends have been amazing and have invited us to their family Christmas gatherings, but I cannot bring myself to go to someone else’s house for Christmas. What do I do?