Secret Cancer

I cannot believe it, but we are going home. This week has been crazy. I am so happy. We went from him never coming home again to him being on his deathbed to now, going home!!! I am so thankful and just feel like we both have gotten a new chance at life. Friends, Family, doctors, and nurses are all saying the same thing. Enjoy this time you have together. And we will!!!

It is crazy how this experience has changed me and my perspective on things. I was so afraid and worried about the cancer growing or about what he was eating or not eating, and now I’m just happy he is alive. We are going to have a doctors appointment with his oncologist next week and no matter what news we receive, he is alive. We have experienced the worst thing in life, saying goodbye and accepting that we will have to carry on without him. Whatever life throws at me, I will be ok. We will be ok.

This process has also taught me that I am stronger, smarter and more capable than I have ever known myself to be. I have always lived in the shadow of this incredibly strong, intelligent, driven man. Not many people can compare themselves to him and come out his equal. My friends have always seen things in me that I just could not see in myself. Now, I know that I am good enough. I love my husband and I want him in my life forever but now I know that I can survive without him. I am my own person and not just his wife and partner or mother of his children. I am (my real name) AND I AM STRONG, CAPABLE, and FIERCE!!