Somedays life just seems unbearable. The pain and panic I feel is indescribable. My husband was the world to me. I miss him so much that my stomach is in knots. I feel like I am having a heart attack. The feeling is overwhelming but the anxiety is the worst.
He gave me a life people dream of and suddenly I am at the helm of a huge machine that I do not know how to drive. The instructions are in a foreign language and the parts do not fit together. I no longer have him to lean on to take my anxiety away and explain things. I am dealing with the loss of him but also trying to navigate my anxiety on my own, while trying to deal with things I do not completely understand.
I cannot control anything in my life. Control is hard to have when you cannot understand the world around you. He gave me the world and I trusted him to navigate life for me. Now, I need to find a away to navigate life without him but how do I do that when I cannot understand the maps and sharks are circling.
Secret Cancer 
Leave a comment