Secret Cancer

It has been almost a year since my husband passed away. This is the first Christmas without him. He will always be apart of me. Moving on is hard. There will always be apart of me that is sad or just on the brink of crying. A song, memory, just missing him, or wishing he was here, will always bring me back to a deep sadness not everyone will experience or maybe we all will. I do not know what the future holds.

I do know that after mourning the loss of what could have been and after accepting all the changes that death brings, there is life after loss. Time, eventhough we fight it at first, does heal even the most significant losses. I felt alone after the loss of my husband, but now I see that I will never be alone. I am a mother, aunt, sister, and daughter. Hopefully, one day a grandmother. Life goes on even when we do not want it to. There is hope even when we do not want hope. There is a future, even when we do not want a future.