Secret Cancer

So I’m writing this in the hospice care center of the hospital. It is hard to hear things like, end of life care, but here we are on New Year’s Eve.

My husband has really deteriorated fast. This took everyone by surprise. My friends and family are all shocked. I’m just trying to survive and take care of him as much as possible. It is hard to believe that just a month ago he was standing in front of a crowd of people, press included, inaugurating a warehouse with another CEO.

I cannot believe how much my life has changed from one day to another. Yesterday he was eating and walking, but today, he cannot do any of those things without assistance. How is this even possible?

The doctors are giving him days or weeks. I’m plagued with trying to make sure he knows we love him, but at the same time trying to figure out how in the world can I survive a world without him in it.

I suddenly have so much responsibility on my shoulders. What will life be like without my anchor here to keep me grounded? He has been my support not only financially but emotionally. Watching him deteriorate is physically painful. I keep telling him we are going to be ok but inside I am shouting please don’t leave us. He truly is the love of my life.