Secret Cancer

I am not sure how to describe the disappointment I feel, when my husband has a bad day or a few bad days. I just want our lives to go back to normal. I want him to be healthy. It is devastating to think that this is not possible. I want him to be able to hang out with our friends and family again. I want him to be able to leave the house for just a few minutes.

We planned to spend this weekend with friends or maybe spend the night at a hotel in town for the kids. None of this is possible right now. I’m not sure what happened, but he is having a hard time walking and has not eaten much. The doctors say that this is normal with cancer patients, and that it is just another sign that his body is giving out. I don’t want to accept this.

I don’t want to let him go. He is my everything. I want him to live on, and I think that if I just take better care of him, just be a-little more positive, or just pray a little harder, he will live. Is my love not enough? This is hard.

So many people care about my husband and want to show their love and support. I just wish that he was healthy enough to spend time with them or appreciate how much he is loved. The world is not going to be the same without him. He is our world, but he has also impacted so many other people. I am not sure he knows how many people truly care about him. I just hope he recovers. Prayer is the only thing that can helps us now.