Secret Cancer

ABOUT ME

I had everything I could want and now I hold a secret.

LATEST STORIES

• New beginning (2)
  Fast forward a few years and things are looking up. We moved to another city. The kids are older and in preschool. I learn the language and start making friends. I am living the dream. We are going on dream vacations, throwing amazing dinner parties, and my husbands is on his way to becoming CEO… Read more: New beginning (2)
• Wealthy problem (1)
  It did not take me long to realize, that once you marry into wealth, you have to give up your right to complain. Complaining while wealthy is a huge no. I married my amazing husband and my life went into automatic upgrade. I could afford anything I wanted, but my life was still full of… Read more: Wealthy problem (1)
• 2020 cancer (3)
  I will never forget the year 2020. I’m sure everyone remembers it for COVID and lockdowns. I will remember it as the year my husband finally achieved his goal of becoming CEO. All his work finally paid off. We planned a huge party to celebrate his success, but then Covid happened and the party got… Read more: 2020 cancer (3)
• Undercover Operation (4)
  We are in total shock. One month after my husband lands his dream job, we are faced with a cancer diagnosis. The insane thing about becoming a CEO of a publicly traded company is you are suddenly thrust into the spot light. You receive media training on what to say and how to say it.… Read more: Undercover Operation (4)
• Too optimistic (5)
  After a successful surgery, my husband now has a terribly huge scar on his abdomen but we remain optimistic. A few weeks later we are called into the doctors office. They tell us good news the surgery went well and they were able to remove the tumor but the bad news is that it is… Read more: Too optimistic (5)
• The cancer scam (6)
  Cancer is like a big scam. First you think you are going to die and then you don’t. You become a secret cancer survivor. Then it is time for your first check up and you have to relive everything again. The cancer is back. Our check up did not go so well. Still keeping our… Read more: The cancer scam (6)
• Public vs private (7)
  The problem with success and wealth is it throws you into the spotlight even if you do not want to be in it. Everyone thinks they know you or know of you. “My kid is in the same class as this kid and his father is the CEO of …….! Did you hear how much… Read more: Public vs private (7)
• Operation #2 (8)
  So after stopping chemotherapy due to low blood values, we demanded a second surgery. Surgery is the only cure for intraheptic cholangiocarcinoma. The surgery was a success but we still had the lung nodules to deal with. The doctors scheduled radiation therapy to treat those. One month later we get great news. They did not… Read more: Operation #2 (8)
• Good times (9)
  After hearing all the good news from the doctors, we start living life again. COVID is still a thing and there is still a lot of discussion on how to be responsible. But after living in isolation and dealing with Cancer, we decided to live life. Tomorrow is not promised. It took six months before… Read more: Good times (9)
• Cancer is back (10)
  After living it up, it was time for a new scan. This time it did not go so well. Just before Christmas the doctor called to tell us that there is some cancer activity on the liver and we are going to need to start chemotherapy again. We fly to the US for Christmas and… Read more: Cancer is back (10)
• Too much info (11)
  During my husbands treatment there is always a halfway point where you get a scan and run some blood test to see how the treatment is working. Our doctors meeting did not go so well. First the doctor is super hopeful bc he can see that the treatment is slowing down growth and even shrinking… Read more: Too much info (11)
• Secret hardship (12)
  Our lives look amazing from the outside. My husband is having tremendous success as CEO. The share price is booming and he is on the news wearing his wig and no one is the wiser. My kids play multiple sports and everyone now knows what my husband does for a living. It took awhile for… Read more: Secret hardship (12)
• This chemo sucks (13)
  Now it’s the end of the 5FU chemotherapy and it did not work like we hoped. The doctors said that it had ok affect but nothing really changed. The cancer did not grow but it did not shrink either plus my husband lost all of his hair. The wig did its job at concealing this… Read more: This chemo sucks (13)
• The cough (14)
  This summer my husband developed a cough. At first we thought it was COVID but it never went away, even today seven months later he is still coughing. Everytime he coughs I am gripped with fear. Has the cancer spread? Is he dying? I wonder if people are starting to notice that something is up… Read more: The cough (14)
• The baseball (15)
  After this summers pause it was time for a new scan and to begin treatment again. Two weeks after the scan the doctor informs us that there is now a baseball size tumor on my husbands liver!!!! The doctors want to try 5FU again. I pushed back and demanded we try Gem/cis again even though… Read more: The baseball (15)
• Blood values (16)
  So my husband has been on gem/cis for two months now and it is wiping him out. He has not been able to complete a round of treatment because his white blood count gets terribly low. After the first missed treatment, the doctors lowered the dosage to 50 percent. He received one more treatment and… Read more: Blood values (16)
• Bravery (17)
  We are still waiting to hear back from the doctor. I just ran into an old friend of mine. Her husband, a successful architect, had a stroke this summer. She was tearfully explaining the ups and downs they are going through. I felt so sad for them put also this overwhelming guilt. She told me… Read more: Bravery (17)
• Novice MD (18)
  I spend so much time online researching intraheptic cholangiocarinoma. I think I should enroll in Med school. This cancer is so rare that there is not much research out there. I think I have read every medical record on the subject. I am especially interested in what happens when chemotherapy is no longer an option.… Read more: Novice MD (18)
• This week (19)
  So much is happening this week. My husbands company has its quarterly report. As CEO, he has to give a few speeches, speak to investors and analysts, plus do media interviews, some are live and some are for news articles that come out later in the week. I do not know how he is going… Read more: This week (19)
• Mountain/mole hill (20)
  Still trying to make it through this incredibly demanding week. The first doctors visit is done. It went well but that is not the important one, where we are going to discuss treatment options. We haven’t had that one yet. My husband is busy getting ready for the quarterly report and I have been busy… Read more: Mountain/mole hill (20)
• Doctor update (21)
  We met with the oncologist and things are looking good. I was so worried that he was going to discontinue treatment. I spent all week researching different therapy options. These options are not needed just yet. Feeling super thankful. We are going to continue on Gem/cis but push the rounds a few weeks apart. So… Read more: Doctor update (21)
• Rollercoaster (22)
  Dealing with cancer is a rollercoaster of emotions. Friday I was feeling great and confident thinking, we are going to beat this thing and now I am feeling doubtful. My husband is tired and does not have an appetite. It is crazy how things can change from one day to the other. He had a… Read more: Rollercoaster (22)
• Sleepless Nights (23)
  When my husband has his chemotherapy treatments he is usually fine the day of and the day after. He takes steroids those days. They make him energetic and I can see glimpses of the man I married, I do not see the tried, worn down person he has become. But with many things there is… Read more: Sleepless Nights (23)
• Canary Islands (24)
  We are on vacation this week with my husbands family. There is nothing like sleeping with the sound of waves right outside your window. Even, when my husband needs to get up in the middle of the night to pee or relieve a leg cramp. The sound of the waves puts us back to blissful… Read more: Canary Islands (24)
• Faith and cancer (25)
  I believe in the power of prayer and in miraculous healing. Doctors say all the time that believing in a higher power helps people do better during treatment. Cancer disappears without a cause all the time. Miracles do happen. God can and has saved people from cancer. I have seen miracles happen in my own… Read more: Faith and cancer (25)
• When it rains it pours (26)
  This week my husband had another gem/cis chemotherapy treatment. He almost didn’t get it, because a liver value was elevated, but they decided to give it to him anyway. We are thankful he got to get his treatment even though he is miserable now. He is constipated and bloated. The nurses said that next time… Read more: When it rains it pours (26)